Over

wow i was confused this week..been going through a lot of emotions...i'm not really a fan of having mixed emotions its just annoying...lolz because you just get so annoyed by it not knowing what you really want and how to actually separate them...but anyways without getting into a lot of the boring stuff...through that time music was my bestfriend...i can always go to music to help me cope with my options...its weird because like i'll be listening to all these random songs and like an Epiphany there would be one song that would help me through the situation i'm going through...regardless of what emotion it is...and the song i'm obsessed with right now is Over - drake...i'm starting to become a fan of his...i like his songs and his voice...i have a weird feeling that there is technology involved in it...but its nice and it suits him..so its all good...however the song over made me realized life is as simple as it gets...and that it is all about you and how you live life ...and that people come and go...at the end of it all its you and how you live your life...and yeah reading through the lyrics of this song it may be hard to see how i got that..well not really i just connected with the chorus of the song...which just got me thinking in dept of what my situation was...i realized that i shouldn't and no need to stress about things that you can just push it over...or just end it...because at the end of it all its you living your life...i ain't saying that you don't want the companionship in your life...friends, family, your love of your life...etc. but at then end of the day it really is all about you...you always fight for what you want...regardless of what relationship that may be with...its all about making yourself happy...and yeah some people have better skills at giving in and making others happy but those people are those ones that are just gifted in doing that...you can't find alot of those people any more...because everyone is just fighting to make their life as pleasant as possible...and people who come and stick around you that are knew comers usually always have some kind of reason to it...something that they can use you for...before they find another one person to fulfill their needs that they didn't get filled by you...and i realized that a little late in my life but its okay at least i realized it...i mean i have three good close friends...like they are my sisters.. aside from them i have two more close friend that i just recently got close with...but everyone else that recently came into my life are there or was there for their own purpose and its sad because its when they leave, that you realized that you got played for the fool...or you got used...you realized that you were just someone they got their shit done with...but i lately started picking up these people who come into my life and just use me for whatever reason it may be and walk out...i ain't saying this in sexual aspect more of just random things...because it ain't always about the sexual aspect that you get used by...there are plenty of other things to get used by as well...but yeah anyways...its funny how this one song got me thinking this beyond and above and i know everyone could listen to that song and you can interpret it in many ways...and you probably think that i got the meaning of the song rong to...but thats the best part about music you can take one song and get many different meanings from it...music really is my drug...it really is my escape from reality...so i was watching this tv show from my background...and the lead actress in the show pointed one thing that hit me hard ... she said "a problem is a problem only when you hide it...or try to run from it...a problem is not a problem when you face it...up front and not run from it...and how many women tend to run away from problems and make the situation worse and when it involves a man... by a women running away we give more and more power to the men" and i took a double take on that...because people always say that don't run away from your problems...but there was really never a good reason to why you shouldn't...like its always like don't run away from your problems just always good to face it...but y:S you know...but when she pointed it out like that...i was like thats so true...women alway make stupid moves by running away from problems when they get into a fight with their bf, husband or any sort of men in their life...they apologize immediately or we walk away from them...or hurt ourself physically or even go as extreme as suicide...and women doing that always make men so much more superior because in their thick head they like look at this women and be like look at what she did...because she was intimidated by me and they gloat about it when women stand up for their problems and face it head on...its so easy to overpower men...we are ten times stronger then men...maybe not physically but definitely mentally...its so amazing how much women do and still be sober...unlike men who always seem to find a way to use some kind of way to release their stress...drugs, alcohol, sex, something...i ain't saying that women don't do that...but we women do much more and still are sober then most men in this world...but after she said that it made me realized that i should really face problems head on and not really hide from it...push it aside...i have a tendency of pushing it aside...i'm not much of a hider but i just rather put it off...and i guess that is not a really good thing...yeah making a new year resolution is a bit late now...but i do want to make that one of it...to face problems head on rather then push it aside...if you keep your head held up high...no M**** F***** can come near you...you become UNTOUCHABLE...