Pacing

I guess God gave me the space and time to let go on a good note...instead of just getting up and leaving...which we all experience and it hurts a lot...with this guy i think we are slowly just going to drift apart...and i guess cause it is happening slowly the pain wont be as painful as if he was to just get up leave...and i felt that pain...it wasn't pleasant at all...i talked to him today...and hmmm i just feel like now he is just saying things...it doesn't feel the same way as it use to be...maybe my point of view changed...maybe i distanced at the heart...and i'm blaming it on the situation or on him...when i asked him where he thinks we are...he didn't have a clue...and to be honest i didn't either...so i asked him so i can kinda know where we were...but i guess we are both on the same page...he said he wont be on msn much more cuz he is really busy...hmm and i told him how msn is the only way i get to spend time with him...and he said that he would get his car soon and that we will chill...around our schedule...hmmm we'll see how that goes...then i told him i felt that he doesn't like me like he did before...and he said he was sorry...and that he hopes that i don't feel that way...because it wasn't like that...but it wasnt like he told me though he likes me still...hmmm...and he told me he wants space...and that he wants to know where things are going...and it was a bit weird...i mean i don't mind giving him the space...because i'm for one the person to totally understand space and stuff...but hmmm...it just felt really weird...and when we were leaving i told him to remember i like him alot...and all he said was that it was cute and said good night homie with a heart...and hmmm i guess the heart was a way of telling me how he felt...but i don't know things just seem weird....he told me to txt him 2moro morning...i'll txt him and we'll see how that goes...i don't know i like him alot and i wouldn't mind things happening between us...but at the same time...things just seem off...and i guess things are good between us...right now...and maybe down the line we will just slowly drift to our own paths...which i guess for me will be the safest way to less pain...i just hope he doesn't fuck me over...and if he does...i hope i don't know about it...i just hope he just laughs about how stupid i was in his head and moves on with his life...because i really just don't want to know how dumb i was to believing everything he said....because i really safe guard my heart...and i actually opened it...and if i get fucked...it will hurt alot and it probably seal shut for a while...so i really don't want to go through that...i guess time will only tell...i have such a bz week...and i wanted to get hwk done today...but i was at call for a family emergency that i didn't even get a chance to do it...damn need to catch up...