Ps: to the one who is reading...i'm not talking about you...its the other two :P
Monday, November 15, 2010
it has been a while
It has been a while since i wrote a proper blog...and i'm sitting here writing this blog write before my midterm...shows you how much i'm studying and putting effort....and then you hope that God will help you through the midterm...how can God help me through my midterm when i'm not even trying...he only helps those who give it there best and he sees that you give it your best...hmmm i practically gave up on my midterm there is just to many stuff i need to know...and now i'm relying on my final to help with my mark...and mind you this is accounting my lowest course...hmmm what to do now right...there is only so much you can study now at this point before the midterm...so life is been treating me shit...my mom is throwing me a b-day party...and i just hate the whole notion of it...its frustrating and annoying and it just isn't me...i ain't the type of girl to get all fancy and stand there and take pictures and have all the attention shine on me...yeah i get it most girls love this...i'm just one of those girls who hate it...after going through this process i almost just want to get married at city hall...have a nice reception and spend all the rest of the money on a nice ass honeymoon...see that is my dream of a wedding nothing fancy nothing hectic and no stress...i honestly just hope to have a stress free life...i mean yes stress is something that is inevitable but still keep it at a low so i don't waste my life....stressing over things that isn't necessary...it really isn't worth it at the end of the day...because no matter how much you stress over it...it is what it is...and you can't do anything to change it...hmmm like how things are with me and him...i'm stress but why....don't know...is it worth stressing...technically no...but am i stressing completely...should i stop stressing..ABSOLUTELY....like i said...it is what it is...so why stress over it...i guess that is my mojo from now on...decipher everything and see if it truly and completely is worth stressing...my education in general is worth stressing over just because that is my life...and i need to make sure that i make good of it....i watch so many shows...i love tv what can i say...and in every show there is always this location that a bunch of friends meet up to hang out in there adult life...and its amazing...just to know that you have a good job and after work you just hit this spot and your friends come and you just hang out...its like that in how i met your mother, in arthur...and other shows as well...and in my case i friends who just don't even want to do anything after there 21st birthday...i mean i get the whole concept of okay no more specific dates for birthday parties and what not...but is it so wrong to just go out for dinner or lunch for your birthday with all close friends...mind you i only have 3 really close friends...hmmm its just frustrating to think how wrapped they are in there life...just about their relationships and family and what not...its like once your done school its right into that family life...get married get a job....have a year with your spouse and then BOOM kids....from there on i don't need to say no more...its pretty clear how their life is going to be...hmmm...i just don't want to fall into that life style...i want to find that job...live on my own...actually have that group of friends where we can go and hang out after work...or whenever we feel like it...and life just a free life for a bit before i get myself into the reality of what society wants from individuals.....will i be able to obtain...i don't know...maybe i will get sucked into what society expects from who knows...as much as life is in my hand...there are just some things you just can't control...i sound so depressed with my talking...but i honestly don't feel like it...i realized by now that i'm an individual person who has really different thoughts to most of the socialized girls out there...and i came to terms with it now...yes at one point i wanted to be like girls who dress up everyday...and always look pretty and just be the "norm" what girls should be...but now i know that who i am is what i want to be...simple and ordinary...which fits my life style perfectly...and i can bet i probably would have a much less stressful life that those other girls....i don't even know what the purpose of this blog was...but i guess i just needed to let somethings out...anyways i better get ready to go write my failure of a midterm....
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LOL love u too :P the other two have been in relationships for a significantly long time its only normal for their next level excitement is marriage or kids. Yes they can look at it other ways if they tohught about it. but look it how society and our culture conditions us.
ReplyDeleteYou my friend have options to do something...you have the options to tell the sweet-talking jerk off (i hope he doesnt read this:|) and u have the option to prepare ahead for school. Yes its a bitch doing school when lifes on your ass. but personally i find that studying is the only thing I have most control over in my life. and if it doesn't go my way I know I didn't put it my all. Please review ahead of time for your final. Even if your on the toilet taking a shit just review one day of notes. :) just looking out for you..i try not to tell ppl what to do when it comes to education (unless im asked) because it's just a very sensitve area and I know that we should know better by now.