awkward feeling

argh...i hate waking up with this feeling that something isn't right...as like i forgot something in my dream...or that i didn't hold on something a bit longer...this weird feeling...i hate going to sleep with dissatisfaction of the day ending...because it creeps up in your dreams....and then it ends up coming into the next day and ruins that day...because now you can't shake away that feeling that something isn't right...but in fact everything is probably more then perfect that day...just to my eyes and my emotions something just doesn't fit...so last night mine and his conversation ended up at a bad note...well not really a bad note...but just uncomfortable as i was asking him about what he has done for the year...seeing that he was so big on making changes for the new year...and he kinda was like "if you don't mind i'll make the changes at my own pace"...and i was like "with do all respect go for it...i ain't specifically telling you what you should do...i was just wondering what you did thus far" and he goes i would like to make my changes when it sees fit for me...and i was like alright...i'm like this conversation is getting to personal...i'm going to go and we just said a simple bye and just left...it was so weird...hmmm but yeah it was just off and man i'm just horrible at this feeling shit...i tried...i really did try to clear path and open my emotions but fuck that shit...ever time i get close to letting my emotions out it just gets weird and i'm repelled by the thought that i just run the opposite direction...it fits me perfectly and i'm happy with that! I LIKE KEEPING MY OWN EMOTIONS AND I WANT TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF REGARDLESS OF HOW DAMAGING IT IS TO MY HEALTH!!!!!!!!!!!!