Horrific :|

So last night i had two dreams. One of which was really extreme and another being just really stupid and awkward. So the second dream was about matthew mcconaughey. He was married to the girl from wedding planner and was very unhappy about his marriage. Meanwhile i'm on a trip with at this cottage with my family and external families. I was just one of those girls who were living my life at the cottage. Until he came and sat next me and we started talking and he was telling me how he wasn't happy with his marriage life. And i was like if your not happy then let her go and move on with your life. Life is about being happy it ain't worth being miserable. And i gave him a huge speech. this was happening while we were sitting on a hill with the cottage behind us. And in front of me was a beautiful lake, and the sun was setting. It was beautiful. Anyways he was convinced about what i said and he was going to break it off. And in a snap shot there was jessica sarah parker in my dream. With the same problem and i told her the same thing i told him. If your unhappy let them go and move on. And i was telling someone else, how everyone is going to think i'm just a bitter single who likes to go around breaking up relationships. But i was like that ain't even my logic. I just think people need to be happy with who they are with. And happy with the life they chose for themselves. You only live once and you gotta make it worth while as much as possible. So then it was another day. Him and i were at the porch of the cottage and he comes and tells me how he left his wife. And how relived and happy he was. And i was like thats really good. And he started coming closer and i didn't move. [but then again why would i. Its MATTHEW. He is a total hunk!!]. And he puts his hands on my hip [hehehe] and his touch give me a wonderful tinkling feeling through out my entire body. Yet again this was happening at sunset. And i had my hands on his abs like about put push him away. And i was just looking at him. Cause he was a lot taller then me. But then i had to leave cause my mom came and called me saying that we were leaving to go home. And i was all like OOHHH....and he just didn't want to let me go. And i had to go. It was so sad. HAHAHA what a dream. However i wish that happens in real life with the guy i'm meant to be with. Because that feeling i had on the porch felt so comfortable and warm. That feeling of being belonged. And that feeling that someone wanted me and wanted me to belong to them felt really nice. But yeah.

So the First dream was like OMG!. It was pretty scary. What was really fucked was i knew i was scared and i knew the situation was closing in on me, and i knew i needed to wake up soon because it was to hard to face but i kept telling myself lets see how this ends and i let myself keep dreaming. So basically my family and my external families were at a hotel for a trip or something. And we all having a blast. And there for some family members sitting on the couches in the lobby and chilling. And this chinese guy with his gang comes and starts shooting my family members. I'm not sure if my mom and dad were there but yeah. And i'm pissed scared now, because i see blood everywhere, it was such a horrific scene to see, omg. I quickly run to my little cousins and tell them to go run and hide and they go. I found the chinese guy's blind spot and quietly ran out from the sidelines. And then i see a MacD. And i run into the place and ask to use the phone. And they give it to me and i call 911 and just about say that how there is a at the hotel killing people, he walks into the place. So i drop the phone and hide on the side. And he walks in shows the gun and tells the cashier to empty the register. And they do as they are told. It was weird how he had the gun covered by rag bag. But yeah and he looks around the place and it was empty. And at this point i'm shitting my pants because i was scared he was going to see me. But somehow he leaves. And at this point i'm running back to the hotel and i feel that i got my period and i was telling myself to fuck it because i don't got time to put on a pad. And i was wearing jean shorts and i can see blood seeping through the jeans. It was so uncomfortable and gross, but at that point all i wanted was to survive. As i was going to the hotel i felt like he saw me. So i run faster to the hotel and eventually i reach there and i see all my family lying there dead and blood running from there bodies. And i was going to run into a room, when he hollas at me and i froze!. I was like oh fuck this is it, i'm going to die and i turn around and he like who are you and i'm like just a person who is staying at the hotel. And he stares at me and i was scared that he was going to realize that i was lying and that those are my family. It felt like he was actually after killing my family only. So after careful analyzing me, he tells me to get my family and get out of here. And i'm like alright and i run to the back and find my room. And then i woke up in real life and was like wdf :|. I still had that slight fright in my body but barely. But it was one fuckked up dream. I wish i can find a dream interpretation on this but its hard to figure out what exactly i'm going to search. But yeah.

So it has been two weeks since i last talk to him. I have heard nothing from him nor do i know if he ever comes online because i don't go online either no more. Just because i don't want to be online and see him online it will just bother me. So i decided it was best that i didn't go online altogether. I still think about him here and there but it ain't like it use to be, nor do i think about him with the feelings of what i once had for him. So i guess in that sense its a good thing. I do miss his sweet talk, and the attention i got from him. But hey that ain't everything to life now. So yeah.

On the level of school there is just so much that needs to be done. I have been good with doing my assignments ahead of time at least a day earlier then when its do. I just have to catch up with my reading. So i needed to buy a textbook online at amazon so with that i decided to buy another book which is called "to kill a mockingbird". This book is such an old classic, and everyone makes reference to it and it is still studied about in english classes so i wanted to read it. And i actually started i put my autobiography on portia on hold for this book. Lolz. So my parents said yes to my trip for montreal for my reading week and i even purchased the ticket so its more real now. I can't wait to go on the trip as much as i am counting down the days i also don't want to. Because from now till the trip there is so much to be done and after the trip half the semester is done and the second half is harder then the first half so i'm not looking forward to it but montreal will make worth while!!